Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Here We Are

I am sitting in our temporary apartment in New Mexico.

I know people are wondering how we are doing.

Aaron loves it, working hard in his new position.
There is much to accomplished and he has jumped in feet first.

Noelle is well, her sleep schedule is a wreck and that makes for some interesting episodes.
She is her happy-go-lucky self, mostly, with some intermittent break downs over the smallest things. I am waiting for her to ask when will this adventure be over and we go back home?

Madeleine is finally walking!
Not full-time but she tottles from place to place and it's adorable.

Me? You want me to honestly answer this question? I'm a wreck.
I miss home more than words can express.
If someone could tell me how to pull off the elephant that has been standing on my chest for the last week, I'd appreciate it!

I would do anything to be able to hop on a plane back to California and return home to my life of: going over to Auntie & Unc's house every other day, being Liz's neighbor, hiking with Jo, afternoons in the park with my girls, dropping Noelle off at Mrs. Andrea's, driving to Santa Clarita so Noelle can play with Jake & Norah while the Mommies chat, scrambling to get to my R.S. meeting, you name it...I want it back.

I know these things take time but I don't want to wait it out.
I want to be happy again.

We found a house and put a deposit down. We'll see if it works out.
I want to be excited about it, it's beautiful. And it's ONE story!
But what fun is doing all this without those I love so much in California?

I don't mean to sound ungrateful, I am so grateful for my blessings.
I have healthy children and a marvelous husband.
Who could ask for more?

I still know this is the right thing for us.
I'm just not that happy about it right now.
All things in time, right? Right?

11 comments:

just2Bjulie said...

Absolutely heartwrenching, Elizabeth. Thanks for being honest about it.

I wish I could say something comforting; why do words always fail us when emotions run deep?

If I could have one wish for you, it would be that the stupid elephant would get off your chest so your heart could feel how proufoundly you are loved. By so.very.many.people.

Give me your address and I'll send a mouse to scare away the elephant.

I'm not joking. I want your address. I promise it will be a nice mouse. :)

Kelsi {John, Jake, Georgia, Naomi, Alice} said...

i love you. i love you. i love you. and in time will fill your life with more love & friends & adventures. keep your chin up kiddo. we're all rooting for you!

Liz Rose said...

Oh my friend. It will get better. You are such a lovely person, many other lovely women are just waiting to love you and your girls. It takes time-this will pass. The elephant will leave you.
Keep the pics coming!
XO, XO
Liz

julianna said...

i miss you, too. i like the mouse idea. i like the get on a plane idea, too. go find a great park for us to have lunch at when we come to visit. and email us a picture. it will get better. but i still miss you.

Kelly said...

I love your honesty. I am so sorry that it is so hard. The only answer is time, unfortunately. Go find a wonderful, new park, museum, mall, something to explore with your girls and a reason to like New Mexico. It will get better. We are still your friends, distance doesn't matter.
Love,
Kelly

oh! and congrats on the house. Post pics.

Jo said...

Oh, my dear friend, what can I say that hasn't already been said? I went on my Thursday hike today and it just wasn't the same without you. I didn't even attempt to walk yesterday for saddness sake. But it's just as Kelly said only time is our medicine right now. But, I know you'll bounce back with a vengeance once it all has sunk in and you've come to accept the reality of it all. After all, you are woman extraordinaire! Be patient with yourself, my friend. You've got all the time in the world and we're only a phone call away. We love you!

Melanie said...

I love you and miss you so darn much already! I can just feel that ache in your chest, the weight of the elephant. I have to agree with all these great friends of yours, we know you and we know that you will settle in and grow to love your new home. It's OK to be sad and maybe a little overwhelmed for awhile too though. I am excited for you to have a new house! Kiss your babies for me and loves to you too!

karen said...

hope it gets better. hope the house works out!

Amy said...

You don't know me. I found you blog stalking, my sister is friends with Kelsi.
I just wanted to say that I live here in New Mexico just north of Albq in Rio Rancho. We have lived here for 4 years now. I'm sorry it's hard for you right now. We have moved a lot since my husband was in the military, so I'm pretty used to moving. We are from CA, but moved here most recently from SC. I love it here now. I know there are not as many things to do here as in CA, but you'll sart to enjoy the area and what is here quickly. If you want ideas on what do see and do or where to eat and shop let me know. There are also lots of great people here too.
Amy

Rosey Posey said...

One of the reasons why I respect you so much is your honesty. There is nothing I can to help to fill the void you are feeling right now. Once you get into the house that will help provide some distraction. Friends will come I'm sure. Heck just give Poppy a call. Just know we all have well wishes for you and your family and all of us are rooting for the Joneses. You can do it Liz!

TheKeilShpeel said...

I don't even know you super well.. but I couldn't even read this..