I Haven't Died...Just yet

I am sure most people have long since abandoned me and my poor blog. I feel sad that I have neglected it for so long. But I have a good excuse! Or do I? Is there a good excuse for not documenting the lives of my precious babes? Let's see what I have to share...this is gonna be long!

Christmas was wonderful! We enjoyed every minute of it. I loved being able enjoy both aspects of the holiday with the girls: the blessed birth of our Savior and the magic of Santa Claus. One of my favorite things was when we were setting up the Nativity I asked Noelle if she remembered what it was about and she answered, "Um? Something about someone named Nick?"

Our first Christmas away from family was a special time. We had friends over for Christmas Eve and then Christmas day home together as a family. Our Christmas morning will always remain one of the most special memories in my heart. We (I) missed our extended family dearly, but loved the being able to do whatever we wanted whenever we wanted to. Food, naps, playing with toys.

Christmas day was when I really noticed that my tummy felt icky and just plain weird. I didn't even cook the big Christmas dinner I'd planned. The week before I felt really run down and just thought it was all the holiday hull-a-ba-loo.

Two days later we loaded the car down and headed West to California. Auntie kept her tree up (usually that baby is out the door on the 26th!!!) and we celebrated Christmas #2. By now, I was downright nauseous all the time and I knew exactly what it was. No one who has ever experienced those feelings ever forgets it! But, I could not believe it and decided to just wait.

On the 29th, my niece, Evynn and I went to do some shopping together. I did a quick stop at the Dollar Store and asked her to just wait in the car. That night when we got home I snuck off to the bathroom with my purse and took a pregnancy test. That sucker came out positive in no less than a nano-second! This was slightly strange because I thought I was barely 4 weeks along and when I took tests with the girls well into the 5th/6th week the positive line barely showed up.

I was in a predicament (I thought) because although I felt it was time to have a baby, it was strange to not necessarily want a baby. I love babies. I love being a Mommy. And I knew I wanted more children. And Aaron in no way wanted a baby. The move, his new job, being far away from family, recovering financially from what we'd been through. It was a long ways off for him. Oh, well! The Lord had other plans for us! I could not decide when to tell him. I did not want to keep it from him, but he was enjoying his vacation, I just felt so awful already and could not figure out when to tell him. Bizarre, I know, he's my husband for crying out loud! But, it's how I felt.

The 30th was Noelle's 5th birthday. She woke up to balloons, streamers, gifts, and all sorts of festivities! We went to a nature reserve with friends, out to lunch, and had a blast. 5 seems so big, I cannot believe how the time has gone. She is so dang smart, funny, outgoing, athletic, and loving. She is the joy of my heart

Finally, on New Year's day, I told Auntie I was pregnant and started crying my eyes out. One more thing to be experienced away from everyone I love so dearly. She told me in not so many words to buck up and tell my darn husband. So, I did. And cried my eyes out again. And felt so relieved because he was actually happy!

By now I was feeling sick, sick, sick and just terrified because I was barely 5 weeks! What was in store? Evynn had stayed the week with us and had come down with a terrible flu and I was feeling that coming on, too. Not fair at all!

The trip home was mis.er.able. I felt like death, coughing, gagging, throwing up, head aches, body aches, fever, you name it. Somehow we survived it.

After talking to several people here and some research I decided what OB I wanted (major shortage around here) and called for an appointment but they could not get me in until Valentine's day. I'd be 11.5 weeks, but decided it was worth it to see someone great. I could not believe that I was not going to have my Cooper. :(

This time I experienced every pregnancy symptom known to man! With the girls I was just ridiculously nauseous and could not stand any type of food. But this time smells were killing me, constant gagging, potty all the time, I felt so sick but always felt like I needed something to eat. Usually everything sounded horrible, but sometimes I would crave a certain something and that had to be it....taco bell, Cup of Noodles, KFC mashed potatoes. I wanted to die! And almost killed myself driving to the store late one night during some horrible weather. I basically ice skated in the car for that darn Cup of Noodles. :)

Finally, the 14th arrived and we were excited! Waiting in the lobby the smell of McDonald's french fries was killing me. Aaron swears he smelled nothing but I knew somewhere in that building someone was eating those things. Ick.

The nurse was exceptionally nice (a big change from Cooper's office) and Aaron told her all would be well as long as she made sure that we did not have twins like the poster that hanging on the wall. Ha!

Then the doctor came in and my heart sank again missing Cooper. There was no booming voice coming down the hall telling people, "To hell with it all!" No hugs or kisses, no Mormon jokes, no stories about movies he saw. But, again Dr. Teicher was so dang nice, easy going and took plenty of time to talk to us about everything. He is for sure no Cooper, but I'll take what I can get. Finally, it was time to hear the heart beat, it took a minute our two and there it was, loud and strong! Always such a relief. His joke was, "Well, what I am not telling you is about the second heartbeat I hear in there. Ha! Ha!" Another bummer was no ultrasound on your first visit like Facey. But when he felt my tummy and measured my uterus, it was measuring a month ahead of where I thought I was. Now, given I wasn't planning this, I just had to guess when my last cycle was because I honestly could not remember. All joking aside he said he just thought my dates were off and there were not twins, a whole month ahead was too much for twins at this stage anyway. He ran a couple doors down to the Ultrasound tech and asked if she could squeeze me in, to make sure of dates. She said no problem and told the next people she'd be 5 minutes late. She was a little more than 5 minutes late!

The second she put the transducer on my stomach there was no mistake that there were two babies. My heart began to beat out of my chest and I thought she just had the machine on the wrong setting, split screen or something. You could tell the poor lady suddenly became nervous. Then she began mumbling that she needed to get the doctor to tell us this. She went back to change the setting and thought, "See, I was right!" Finally, you could see both of them again and Aaron burst out, "That is two babies!" And she nodded her head and asked him to step out and get the doctor. I began laughing. And could not stop. The rest is kind of a blur. Dr. Teicher came in and said all looked great. Aaron had his head in his hands mumbling who-knows-what and I just kept on laughing. She had to ask me several times to relax because she could not get the measurements. It was a priceless experience!

Apparently, my guess was off because I was actually 13 weeks. Yea! I saw the perinatologist two days later for repeat ultrasound & measurements, met with the genetic counselor, and a quick visit with the doctor (Love him too! Cute, little, chubby man with a super thick Hispanic accent and you just want to put him in our pocket and take him home.) Again, really thorough and so accommodating. Sent me home with homework, reading, and a vitamin list (it's insane!) And the weight they want you to put on early in pregnancy is out of this world, too. Don't they know I've basically been on a diet since I was 12 and learned about fat grams?! It's really unfortunate because although I HAVE to eat every three hours or get sick, nothing really tastes all that great. I have a license to pig out and can't use it. :(

We are so blessed to have this experience, there is no doubt these babies were meant to come to our family. It's overwhelming at times, but immeasurable joy at the same time.

That's enough for now. What a novel! Pictures to come.

Tuesday I see Dr. Techier. Wednesday I see the Peri for a more in depth appointment and Ultrasound.

Boys? Girls? Both? What's your guess?